It’s been a long, long time. | a poem about depression

It’s been a long,

long time.

Too long.

And I just don’t know

how to talk to myself

now that I’m gone.

I’m weakened,

terrified

and dull.

Everyday seems endless

but tomorrow

doesn’t look

promising either.

It’s a sickening feeling.

The one of not knowing

the one person I should know.

Myself.

And it’s hard to try

when all you’ve been doing

is fight

and fail.

but also, it’s like

I’m stuck.

In this life of not truly enjoying,

of not knowing my next steps

and never ever feeling happiness.

Happiness.

What is that?

is it something you achieve?

something rare?

or just some passing feeling

that doesn’t last long,

like it always needs feeding

and attention.

A greedy something

that can’t find a lasting home.

Does it die when it isn’t fed for long?

Does it get his revenge after by never returning?

I don’t know.

Why can’t I know?

I need to know.

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